What's with teh emoz?
Damn it. My beloved gay partner has been emoing over our few weeks of unsatisfactory, uh, activities, he has been letting it all out on his blog and been making you readers mope over his frustration. Seeing as it could probably be my fault for not being wild enough for him, I have decided to TRY to redeem myself and make his blog livelier for once.
Let me try National Geographic Animal Special style.
It is dawn. The beginning of yet another wondrous day in the forests of Canada. Of the hundreds of millions of species dwelling in these forests, we shall take a look at the seemingly insignificant, yet hugely important animal: the Yellow-bellied Sapsucker.
"Tock, tock, tock, tock," here we see the hungry little bird furiously pecking away at the tough bark of the evergreen Elm, pausing in between several pecks as it picked up the little insects tucked away deep within the tree. As the saying goes, "The early bird catches the worm." This bird, however, is late, so it gets the white slip. The white sap, now having become more runny due to the warm weather in the late morning, dribbles out of the hole the bird made, and flows under the bird, causing it to slip.
The Yellow-bellied Sapsucker falls 3 feet down and lands with a soft "poof". Poor bird. It gets up, dazed, but ruffles its feathers and quickly looks around for any hyenas that might take advantage of this extremely embarrassing situation and laugh at it. It spots none, as it is Canada, not Africa. Immediately, it flies up the Elm again, carefully avoiding any spots where it would get the white slip again.
Such is the life of a Yellow-bellied Sapsucker. It eats, sleeps, shits and mates, but yet it does not know how essential it is to the biodiversity of the ecosystem. This bird is a highly complex creature, and all that complexity lies within its yellow belly.
We often wonder, "Why is the sky blue?", or "Why is the grass green?", but never "Why is the Yellow-bellied Sapsucker yellow?" This, dear viewers, is actually pretty simple, and we must trace the roots of this bird before we can find out why.
You see, when the ancient God Prometheus took pity on man and brought flame to Earth, He flew by the jungle so that
Kai: Sonofabitch, you didnt share something this cool with us?
Let me try National Geographic Animal Special style.
It is dawn. The beginning of yet another wondrous day in the forests of Canada. Of the hundreds of millions of species dwelling in these forests, we shall take a look at the seemingly insignificant, yet hugely important animal: the Yellow-bellied Sapsucker.
"Tock, tock, tock, tock," here we see the hungry little bird furiously pecking away at the tough bark of the evergreen Elm, pausing in between several pecks as it picked up the little insects tucked away deep within the tree. As the saying goes, "The early bird catches the worm." This bird, however, is late, so it gets the white slip. The white sap, now having become more runny due to the warm weather in the late morning, dribbles out of the hole the bird made, and flows under the bird, causing it to slip.
The Yellow-bellied Sapsucker falls 3 feet down and lands with a soft "poof". Poor bird. It gets up, dazed, but ruffles its feathers and quickly looks around for any hyenas that might take advantage of this extremely embarrassing situation and laugh at it. It spots none, as it is Canada, not Africa. Immediately, it flies up the Elm again, carefully avoiding any spots where it would get the white slip again.
Such is the life of a Yellow-bellied Sapsucker. It eats, sleeps, shits and mates, but yet it does not know how essential it is to the biodiversity of the ecosystem. This bird is a highly complex creature, and all that complexity lies within its yellow belly.
We often wonder, "Why is the sky blue?", or "Why is the grass green?", but never "Why is the Yellow-bellied Sapsucker yellow?" This, dear viewers, is actually pretty simple, and we must trace the roots of this bird before we can find out why.
You see, when the ancient God Prometheus took pity on man and brought flame to Earth, He flew by the jungle so that
Kai: Sonofabitch, you didnt share something this cool with us?